Once a year – this year it’s from the 3rd to the 9th of March – the British Isles succumbs to a national delirium. The air fills with the scent of bubbling fillings and golden pastry. Waistbands are tested. Reputations are staked. Kitchens, from tiny flats to stately manors, turn into battlegrounds for culinary glory. Yes, dear reader, it’s British Pie Week!
a slice of history
Let’s take a step back, shall we? Pies, you see, are as British as queues, apologising profusely, and drinking tea in a crisis. The love affair began in the Middle Ages, when pies were essentially medieval Tupperware, a handy way to store meat and keep it fresh. The pastry shell was not always intended to be eaten, more of a durable container than a delicious treat (1).
Fast forward several centuries, and the humble pie has been transformed. The British, never ones to shy away from culinary experimentation (consider the black pudding), have elevated the pie to an art form. It’s a dish that reflects the country’s culinary diversity and quirky personality.
pies of all persuasions
During British Pie Week, the country comes alive with a bewildering array of pies. There are pies filled with steak and ale, chicken and mushroom, and the controversial but undeniably tasty pork pie. Not to mention the sweet pies: apple, cherry, rhubarb, and the unassuming but exquisite banoffee pie.
Of course, it wouldn’t be British without some oddities. How about the Stargazy Pie, a Cornish delight where fish heads poke through the crust, seemingly staring at the stars. It’s a pie that’s half meal, half conversation starter. You can’t help but feel a bit judged by those piscine peepers as you dig in.
pie making: an olympic sport
To the uninitiated, pie making might seem straightforward. Roll some dough, chuck in a filling, pop it in the oven, and Bob’s your uncle. However, ask any British pie aficionado, and they’ll tell you it’s akin to an Olympic sport.
Firstly, there’s the pastry debate. Shortcrust or puff? Hot water crust or filo? Each has its champions and its detractors, and woe betide the novice who confuses them. Shortcrust, buttery and crumbly, is perfect for holding hearty, savoury fillings. Puff pastry, flaky and light, is ideal for a pie that needs a bit of flair.
Then there’s the filling. Traditionalists might scoff at anything other than steak and kidney, but in today’s multicultural Britain, anything goes. Curry pies, pulled pork pies, vegan pies bursting with lentils and vegetables, they all have their place. And let's not forget the artistic latticework on top. To lattice or not to lattice? That is the question.
the great British pie-off
British Pie Week wouldn’t be complete without some friendly competition. Across the country, pubs, bakeries, and home kitchens host pie-making contests. It’s like "The Great British Bake Off", but with more gravy.
Imagine, if you will, the scene. A village hall filled with the scent of baking. Tables groaning under the weight of pies. Judges, often the local vicar, the head of the WI, and someone’s Aunt Mildred, making their rounds, taking tiny, thoughtful bites. The tension is palpable. Will the crust be perfectly browned? Is the filling adequately seasoned? Will anyone dare to present a Stargazy Pie? Though the visual is impressive, the idea of tiny fish faces looking you right in the eye before you tuck in, is a bit much for me, personally…
The winners walk away with more than just bragging rights. They get a little trophy (often shaped like a pie), their name in the local paper, and the undying admiration of their neighbours. Losers? Well, they still get to eat pie, so everyone’s a winner, really.
pie pairings: the British art of accompaniment
No pie is complete without its trusty sidekick. Some prefer their pie solo, allowing the flavours to shine without distraction. Others believe a pie is only as good as its accompaniments. Mash, peas (mushy or otherwise), and a hearty splash of gravy are traditionalists’ favourites.
More adventurous eaters might opt for a dollop of chutney, a spoonful of tangy pickles, or even a scoop of ice cream for dessert pies. And let’s not overlook the humble pint. Ale and pie go together like... well, like Britain and rain. A dark, malty beer can elevate a steak pie to celestial heights, while a crisp cider pairs beautifully with a sweet apple pie.
a pie for every occasion
One of the joys of pie is its versatility. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, or dessert, there’s a pie for every meal. Shepherd’s pie, with its comforting layer of mashed potato, makes for a hearty supper. A slice of pork pie, cold from the fridge, is the perfect picnic fare. And a steaming apple pie with custard is an ideal way to round off any meal.
Pies can be sophisticated, like a delicate salmon en croute, or delightfully rustic, like a meat and potato pie. They can be portable, like the Cornish pasty, or grand and stately, like a towering game pie filled with venison, pheasant, and hare. There’s even a pie for those with a sweet tooth: the treacle tart, so beloved by Harry Potter, or the sumptuous lemon meringue pie.
the dark side of pie
Not everything is sunshine and daisies in the world of pie. There are controversies. Scandals, even! The most notorious? The Pie Rate (not to be confused with pirates, though both can be equally fearsome, and equally crusty).
The Pie Rate refers to the nefarious practice of purveying pies with more crust than filling. There’s nothing more disappointing than slicing into a seemingly plump pie, only to discover a vast expanse of empty pastry. It’s a crime against pie, and the British take it very seriously. Honestly, this should be an actual crime…
Then there’s the question of the hand-raised pie. In theory, these pies, crafted lovingly by hand and shaped without a mould, are the pinnacle of pie artistry. In practice, they can resemble something out of a horror film, with lumpy, uneven crusts and fillings that defy description. But hey, it’s the effort that counts, right?
pie in the sky: the future of british pies
As British Pie Week draws to a close, we look to the future. What will the next generation of pies look like? Will they be filled with exotic ingredients, reflecting Britain’s ever-growing culinary diversity? Or will there be a return to tradition, with classic recipes being lovingly preserved and passed down?
One thing’s for sure: the pie is here to stay. It’s a dish that’s adaptable, comforting, and quintessentially British. So, whether you’re a pie purist or an adventurous eater, British Pie Week is the perfect time to indulge. Go on… You know you want to.
British pie week: our conclusion
British Pie Week is more than just an excuse to eat your body weight in pastry (though it’s a very good excuse indeed). It’s a celebration of British culture, history, and culinary creativity. It’s a time to gather with friends and family, to share recipes and stories, and to enjoy the simple pleasure of a well-made pie.
So, roll up your sleeves, preheat the oven, and get baking. Whether your pie is sweet or savoury, traditional or avant-garde, there’s a place for it in British Pie Week. And remember, if all else fails, there’s always the chippy down the road. After all, who can resist a good old-fashioned pie and chips?
And after all that pie-eating, you’ll be relieved to know that your trusty eve mattress is there to support you and your food coma! Happy British Pie Week, everyone! Until next time, eve sleep.
