Ah, jet lag. The only thing more confusing than an IKEA instruction manual... It’s that delightful feeling when your body decides it’s time for bed while your brain insists it’s 11 in the morning and time for an espresso. In this very serious and completely credible guide, we’ll walk you through the absurd world of jet lag, and give you some tips (not all of them useful) on how to beat it. OK?
what even is jet lag?
Jet lag is what happens when your body’s internal clock, known as your circadian rhythm (fancy, right?), gets completely and utterly bamboozled. You know how your body likes to wake up at 7am every day for no reason at all, even on weekends? And feel like you’ve just had enough sleep, even though you definitely haven’t? Well, when you cross time zones, your body still thinks it’s in the old time zone. Basically, your body clock is throwing a massive tantrum because it’s been tricked into travelling across the globe. So, you end up feeling like a zombie in the middle of the afternoon, wide awake at 3am, and questioning every life choice that led you to booking a flight. Australia is basically just full of things that want to kill you! Right?!
signs you’ve got jet lag
You’ll know you’ve got jet lag when:
- You wake up thinking you’ve had a lovely eight hours of sleep, only to check the clock and realise it’s 8pm and you’ve only been out for 23 minutes. Gnarly…
- You try to make a cup of tea, but put the kettle in the fridge and the milk in the cupboard, and it’s probably best to avoid sugar in your brew. Salty tea isn’t the one.
- You find yourself involuntarily nodding off in places you never thought possible – airport lounges, conference calls, the middle of a lively pub quiz, standing in the queue at the Greggs in Piccadilly Station. You know?
- You stare at a menu, baffled by the concept of breakfast food at 6pm, adamant that you haven’t missed the cut-off by 6 and a half hours.
If any of the above sounds familiar, congratulations! You’re in the throes of jet lag. But fear not, because we’ve got some tips to help you beat it.
how to beat jet lag (or at least confuse it as much as you’re confused)
These life hacks may be just what you need to keep your jet lag symptoms in check next time you’re flying long-haul!
1. change your time zone early
Before you even get on the plane, start adjusting to your destination’s time zone. If you’re flying to Australia (and good luck), start living like you’re on Aussie time. Wake up at 3am, eat a full roast dinner for breakfast, and complain about the lack of Vegemite in your local Tesco, or the distinct lack of fist sized spiders in your toilet bowl. By the time you get on the plane, you’ll already be a tiny bit used to the new time zone, or at least thoroughly used to the weird looks from your neighbours. Win-win.
2. hydrate like you’ve just run a marathon
One of the classic tips for jet lag is to drink loads of water. You know, because water magically fixes everything. FACTS! You’ve just sat in a metal tube for 12 hours, breathing recycled air, but sure, a bit of H2O will make everything better. Chug as much water as you can before, during, and after the flight. And by the time you’ve spent the entire journey getting up to go to the toilet, you’ll be so knackered that jet lag won’t stand a chance. Yaaaaaay!
3. avoid caffeine (unless you want a two-day bender)
Everyone says to avoid caffeine when you’re jet lagged, which is great advice, unless you’re one of those people who can’t function without it. The truth is, caffeine is a double-edged sword. Sure, it’ll wake you up, but it’ll also have you staring at the ceiling at 4am wondering why you thought booking that non-refundable ticket to Bali was a good idea, or wondering what flavour milkshake you would be if you were reincarnated as a lactose based beverage. If you must have a coffee, stick to the mornings, and for the love of all that’s holy, and the safety of those around you, don’t drink a double espresso at 6pm unless you fancy turning into a nocturnal creature for the next few days.
4. nap strategically (not just because you’re lazy)
A cheeky nap can sometimes be the answer to jet lag, but only if you do it right. We’re talking about those short, strategic power naps that make you feel refreshed, not the four-hour-long naps that leave you wondering what year it is when you wake up, with your pillow stuck tour face. The trick is to nap for no more than 20 minutes at a time. And if you think you can nap for 20 minutes, more power to you. The rest of us will be snoozing for three hours, waking up groggy, and ready to do it all over again.
5. move around like you’re an overenthusiastic zumba instructor
When you arrive at your destination, get moving. Go for a walk, do some stretches, or just wildly flail your arms in the middle of a public square if that’s your thing, maybe not at the airport though. No, seriously. The more you move, the more your body will start to adjust to the new time zone. Plus, if you do it in front of a crowd, you’ll be so distracted by the embarrassment that you’ll forget you were ever tired in the first place. Or, do it at the airport, and you’ll be in a cell so dark, you won’t know what time of day it is anyway! Silver linings.
6. eat meals at the right time (even if it’s painful)
Your body likes routine, so try to eat meals at the right time for your destination. Yes, this means having dinner (or tea, if you’re a real one) when your body is screaming for breakfast, or forcing down a full English at what feels like midnight. It’s not pleasant, but it’s one way to trick your body into thinking you’re in the right time zone. If it makes you feel better, you can start slow, maybe have a midnight snack and call it “breakfast”. Though I could absolutely smash a full English any time of day or night.
7. use light exposure (like a modern-day sun god)
Natural light is a key player in helping your body adjust to a new time zone. If it’s daytime at your destination, get outside and soak up the sunlight, even if you’re feeling like a half-melted snowman. The painful memories of the cartoon are still too close to bear. If it’s night-time, avoid bright lights and screens, unless, of course, you’ve got a penchant for watching TikToks at 3am. In that case, good luck to you and your circadian rhythm.
8. turn to melatonin (the legal stuff)
Melatonin supplements can be a lifesaver for jet lag. Melatonin is a hormone that helps regulate sleep, and taking it in pill form can help you fall asleep at the right time. But be warned, it’s not some magical sleep potion, you’ll still need to put your phone down, close your laptop, and maybe avoid binge-watching “Bake Off” before bed. And yes, I’m going to say this again, it isn’t the same without Mel and Sue…
9. don’t fight it (lean into the madness)
Here’s a revolutionary idea: what if you just embrace the jet lag? Yes, you’ll be wide awake at 2am, but that’s the perfect time to start a new hobby. Learn to knit! Write that novel you’ve always dreamed of! Make some toast and contemplate the meaning of life. Sometimes the best way to beat jet lag is to give in to it, ride the wave, and let your body reset in its own time. Plus, you’ll have some great stories about your 3am walks through the streets of Lisbon, holding a toaster, a pen and a pair of knitting needles. Psycho.
10. resort to drastic measures (if all else fails)
If you’ve tried everything and jet lag is still clinging to you like a bad smell, it’s time to break out the big guns. We’re talking about ridiculous solutions like hiring a personal jet lag coach (they exist, and they’ll probably charge you a fortune to tell you what I just did). Or maybe invest in one of those sleep masks that promises to fix everything with a few infrared lights. If you’ve got more money than sense. You could even set up camp in the nearest café and start living as a digital nomad. You’re in a different time zone now, why not fully commit? Be the café hipster you were born to be!
jet lag: our conclusion
Jet lag is basically a cruel joke, but like any good joke, you can laugh your way through it (or cry, we won’t judge, I cried this morning when that donkey came on the TV ad, you know the one, and I don’t even have jet lag). The next time you find yourself battling the confusing fog of jet lag, remember that it’s a temporary state. Soon enough, you’ll be back to normal, waking up at a reasonable hour and functioning like a proper human being. Or, you’ll just get used to living in a perpetual state of tired confusion. Either way, you’ve got this! Safe travels and may your jet lag be short-lived and slightly less ridiculous than this article. Until next time, eve sleep.