Bedtime with little ones isn’t always the cosy, twinkly-lullaby moment we imagined. Sometimes, it’s more like a full-on West End production — complete with dramatic gasps, monsters under the bed, and a demand for "just one more story... please?"
Sound familiar? You’re not alone. Lots of kids go through a phase (or five) where bedtime brings out the big fears — shadows on the wall, strange creaks, or that rogue dressing gown that somehow definitely looks like a ghost in the dark.
The good news? You can help them drift off feeling safe, secure, and maybe even a little bit proud of themselves. Here's how.
1. acknowledge, don’t dismiss
First things first — if your little one says they’re scared, take it seriously. Sure, you know there’s nothing hiding in the wardrobe, but to them, it feels very real. A simple “I hear you” goes a long way. Then, gently help them separate fear from fact. “That shadow is just your rocket lamp. Want to go turn it off and see?”
2. stick to the routine like Velcro
Routine = comfort. Kids thrive on predictability, and a consistent wind-down routine helps them feel safe. Bath, books, snuggles. Keep it calm, keep it cosy, and try not to let bedtime slip too far past the usual slot (hello, overtired meltdowns).
3. swap scary for soothing
Avoid any spooky shows or high-stakes stories too close to lights-out. Instead, reach for something gentle and sleep-friendly. Think talking animals on adventures, not fire-breathing dragons. Bonus points for stories where the hero feels brave and safe at bedtime.
4. let them take charge (a little)
Giving kids some small control can be a total game-changer. Let them choose which pyjamas to wear, what book to read, or which cuddly toy joins them in bed. It helps them feel more confident — and a confident kid is a less fearful one.
5. create a “no-scary-stuff” sleep space
Their bedroom should feel like a safe little nest. That means no clutter, soft lighting, and familiar smells (a little spritz of lavender or the smell of their favourite soft toy can work wonders). A nightlight can help too — just make sure it’s a warm tone and not too bright.
6. banish the baddies (together)
If your kiddo insists there’s a monster under the bed, don’t just laugh it off — get stuck in. Invent a monster spray (water + a few drops of essential oil), check under the bed together, or set up a "no monsters allowed" sign on the door. It might sound silly, but it’s powerful stuff in your little one’s world.
7. stay calm and confident
Kids pick up on your energy like tiny bedtime barometers. If you’re stressed or impatient, they’ll feel it. Try to keep your voice relaxed and your body language open. Even a quick cuddle and whispering the words “I’m right here, you’re safe” can be a big comfort.
8. when fears persist…
If your child’s anxiety is sticking around or seems to be getting worse, it’s okay to reach out. Chat with your GP or a child psychologist — sometimes there’s more going on under the surface, and a little expert support can help you both rest easier.
a final thought: fear fades, but your support lasts
Bedtime fears are a normal part of growing up — and like most tricky phases, they don’t last forever. The main thing? Show up with patience, love, and a bit of bedtime magic. (And maybe a very reliable nightlight.)
You’ve got this. And if you’re running on less sleep than you’d like, we see you. Once they’re finally snoozing soundly, we hope you can get the rest you deserve too.
Until next time, eve Sleep.
