Welcome to National Grief Awareness Week, held annually from December 2nd to December 8th. This week is all about remembering that grief is, well, a big deal. But it doesn’t have to be all sobs and tissues; at least, not exclusively. In the spirit of healing, and because laughter is cheaper than therapy, let’s talk about how to find moments of happiness while navigating the rollercoaster of grief.
Yes, you can be happy even while grieving. You just need to embrace the bizarre, slightly twisted humour that life throws at you during these times. It’s like being in a sitcom, where your co-star is your fluctuating emotions, and the punchline is, you guessed it, life itself. Let’s dive into the heart-warming, often ridiculous journey of grief, with a healthy side of laughter.
grief and sleep: what is sleep anyway?
Grief can be brutal on sleep. It’s like your mind is trying to process a thousand emotions at once, and the place it often does that is at night, when you’re finally supposed to be resting. Sleep and grief are strangely intertwined; grieving can keep you awake, but sleep also becomes one of the most powerful tools for healing. Unfortunately, grief has that way of worming its way into our brains, making it hard to fall asleep or stay asleep. This ultimately leaves you exhausted when you wake up. Your mind racing with memories, regrets, or even fears about the future. It’s actually quite common to wake up in the middle of the night or feel weighed down by sadness, making restful sleep feel much like an impossible luxury.
But even though grief disrupts sleep, getting some shut-eye can be one of the best medicines during mourning. That’s because, when we sleep, our brains actually work through complex emotions, helping us to process what we’ve been through on a deeper level. Without good sleep, grief can feel like it stretches on, more intense and harder to manage. Experts suggest making space for rest, even if it means building a new routine around sleep. Simple things like a consistent bedtime, journaling before bed to clear your mind, or even deep breathing can help bring a bit of calm. While there’s no quick fix, focusing on rest can make the journey through grief a little more bearable, giving your mind and body what they need to heal bit by bit.
the grief gag reel: when sadness gets silly
Grief is a complex, messy emotion, but no one talks about the ridiculous moments that sneak in when you’re least expecting them. You’re deep in thought, maybe shedding a tear, and suddenly BAM! You knock over a vase, trip over your dog, or drop your sandwich (which is probably the saddest part of that trifecta…). One thing that is a step too far though, is the way that a slice of buttered bread, when dropped, ALWAYS lands butter side down. What even is that?!
Grief has this weird way of throwing slapstick comedy your way when you least expect it. It’s like the universe is saying, “Hey, I know you’re feeling heavy here bro, so here, have a slice of ridiculous pie to break the tension.” You end up laughing through the tears because honestly, who knew that sorrow was such clumsy sauce? It’s as if grief and gravity team up to keep you (and others) entertained, and let’s be honest, sometimes a pratfall is exactly the comic relief you need.
trying to “keep it together”: grief’s favourite game show
One of the most fun parts of grief (if you can call it fun) is trying to “keep it together” in public. It’s like an unannounced game show where the goal is to suppress your feelings long enough to order a coffee without bursting into tears. Bonus points if you can make it through an entire conversation about your mobile phone plan without awkwardly sniffling. Dang unlimited texts and calls…
You’re at the supermarket, innocently buying cereal, when suddenly, a song comes on that reminds you of someone you’ve lost. Now, you’re standing in the cereal aisle, holding a box of Weetabix, blinking back tears while trying to decide whether you should just go home and cry into your cornflakes, because let’s face it, you had to put the Wheetabix back on the shelf. Right? And now probably won’t ever be able to buy them again, correct?
But here’s where the funny part comes in: you get through these moments. Sometimes, you even surprise yourself by smiling at how absurd it is to get emotional over, of all things, Weetabix. And sometimes, the sheer ridiculousness of the situation is enough to break through the sadness. Who knew grief could make you tear up in front of a row of porridge oats? Life is wild like that. And it’s absolutely OK! We’re allowed to be emotional, and we’re also allowed to be a bit ridiculous! It’s our right as human beings…
the "what am I even crying about?" crisis
Ah, the beautiful, bewildering experience of crying for no apparent reason during grief. You’re upset, sure, but over what exactly? Is it the actual loss, or are you crying because you can’t find the matching sock to the one you’re holding? Is it because the WiFi is down, or is it just that you miss the person who used to make you laugh at times like these? Let’s think rationally here. Is it actually the sock, or is the sock an emotional scapegoat, giving your subconscious a chance to release some of the feelings it has been keeping bottled up. It really could be the sock! I’m not an expert…
Grief gives you doses of all the feelings at once, and without notice. It’s like your brain is saying, “Here, have a meltdown. But don’t worry, you won’t know why you’re having it. You’re welcome.”
One minute, you’re staring at said pair of socks, and the next, you’re deep in existential sadness. But here’s the light-hearted bit: you start laughing at yourself because, let’s face it, crying over socks is hilariously nonsensical. It’s these small, irrational moments that remind you that grief isn’t logical. But in between the chaos, you find glimpses of humour in how bizarre the whole experience can be.
the grief goggles: how everything looks a bit funnier now
Grief gives you a new perspective on life, call it the “Grief Goggles.” With them on, you begin to see humour in things that once felt overwhelming. Suddenly, life’s little absurdities become clearer. Here’s a couple of totally normal examples: That pigeon staring at you too intensely? Hilarious. The fact that you’ve eaten toast for three meals straight because you can’t be bothered to cook? Kind of funny. Also delicious.
Grief tends to strip away the layers of pretence, and lets you see the world in all its raw, sometimes ridiculous glory. Yes, it hurts, but it’s also oddly refreshing. You start to realise that life isn’t just one big tragedy, it’s a series of odd moments strung together, where laughter is just as valid a response as tears. Ooft… we like that line. Let’s write it again. You start to realise that life isn’t just one big tragedy, it’s a series of odd moments strung together, where laughter is just as valid a response as tears. Still good the second time around…
It’s like you’re living in a dark comedy film where every minor inconvenience is both a trial and a punchline. And in those moments when you crack a smile, whether it’s at a funny memory or because the universe just pulled a ridiculous prank on you, you remember that it’s okay to laugh through the pain.
grief memes: yes, they exist and yes, they help
Here’s a little-known fact: grief memes exist, and they are a lifeline. If you’ve never scrolled through social media and stumbled upon a meme about grief, you’re missing out on one of the most bizarrely therapeutic experiences.
A picture of a crying kitten captioned “Me when someone asks if I’m okay” might seem like an odd thing to laugh at, but in the midst of grief, it’s both strangely accurate and oddly comforting. The internet has an uncanny ability to find humour in sadness, and let’s be real, we’ve all had those moments when a well-timed meme makes us laugh-cry. No?!
Memes about missing loved ones, about the unpredictability of emotions, and even about eating an entire tub of ice cream “because feelings”, remind us that we’re not alone. And more importantly, they remind us that grief, while painful, has its funny side too. They don’t minimise your experience, but perhaps just help give you a touch of perspective. Which when grieving, can be invaluable.
embracing the happy moments, even in grief
Now, let’s get real for a second. Grief is hard, and it’s that way for everyone. It’s a wave that knocks you off your feet when you least expect it, but it’s also true that happiness can coexist with sorrow. You can laugh and cry at the same time (just don’t try it in public, you might get some weird looks). And that’s the beauty of National Grief Awareness Week: it’s a reminder that it’s OK to feel everything, even if it doesn’t feel OK all the time.
Happiness in grief tends to come from the small things. It’s found in the memories that make you smile, the silly jokes your loved one used to tell, or the way you catch yourself laughing at something you know they would’ve found hysterical. It’s in the recognition that life is absurd and wonderful, even when it’s hard. A lot of people find the little arguments had with someone who passed, to be a great source of humour, as the time passed and distance from them gives us perspective on what was truly important. Funnily enough, who had the remote last, doesn’t seem as mission critical now, right?
can't sleep because of grief: what to do
Sleeping well during grief can feel like an uphill battle at times. But there are ways to make it a little easier on yourself. First, give yourself permission to create a new sleep routine, even if it’s different from what you’re used to. Grief changes so much about our mental and emotional state, so what helped you sleep before might need tweaking slightly. Try creating a comforting evening routine that helps you wind down—maybe a warm bath, reading something light, or listening to some calming music. And if your mind starts to race with memories or regrets, writing some of those thoughts and feelings down before bed can help to clear some of them out of your head and onto paper. Just writing down a few lines may ease your mind just enough to make sleep feel a bit more reachable.
And – we know, we know, it’s 2024 – try to give yourself breaks from technology before bed. Phones, in particular, can keep you stuck in that cycle of overthinking. Especially if you find yourself scrolling through memories or feeling tempted to reach out for distraction. Instead, focus on your physical sleep space: make your bedroom extra cosy. A darker bedroom, cooler temperatures, and perhaps even the use of a weighted blanket might help to settle your body down.
The main thing to remember is not to be hard on yourself if it takes time to get restful sleep — it’s okay to have nights where sleep doesn’t come easily. Grief takes a lot out of us, and sleep won’t be perfect. But with a bit of patience and some resetting of your routines, you can give yourself a better shot at real rest when you need it most.
the grief takeaway: it’s okay not to be okay
So, during National Grief Awareness Week, let’s embrace the fact that grief is a complicated, often ridiculous beast. It’ll make you cry at inappropriate times, laugh when you least expect it, and turn everyday situations into surreal emotional roller coasters.
But in between the chaos, remember that it’s okay to find moments of happiness, even if they come in the form of a badly timed meme, a cereal aisle breakdown, or a laugh at your own emotional absurdity. Grief doesn’t mean the end of joy, it’s no fun sponge; it just means you’ve got to look a little harder for it sometimes. And when you find it? Hold on to it, laugh out loud, and know that it’s all part of the wonderfully weird journey that is life. It’s all gravy, baby…
So here’s to being happy, even in grief. Because let’s face it, if we didn’t laugh at the absurdity of it all, we’d be crying over Weetabix forever, and we’d just be watering down our milk. And who wants that?!
Until next time, eve sleep.
